How do Swinging Relationships Work?
As we can (gleefully) attest, the majority of swinging finales involve with four or more people having the time of their lives with each other’s partners. However be assured that there is much more to it than that. Swinging, especially for us women, is about fostering a sexy atmosphere of comfort, warmth and camaraderie.
Whether you are at a Swinger’s club, experimenting with a couple you’ve just met, at your place with another couple, or even if you’ve surprised hubby by bringing home a stunning girl to have a threesome with (highly recommended - he’ll be thanking you for months) there will be always be a period of familiarization. Chatting, drinking wine together and getting to know each other is essential for me if I am going to be going down on my knees later on in the evening.
The key point is that Swingers know the difference between Love and Sex. The love in the relationship between me and Mr L is irreplaceable, and will never be surpassed by the coital joys given by another man (no matter how well hung he is). Don’t get me wrong – many of our new best friends are Swingers now, Swingers often feel nothing is more important than their own partner. The friendships and companionship among Swingers strengthen the primary stem of the relationship rather than damage it.
Do – Get to know each other before the clothes come off
Where does Swinging End and Cheating Start?
I find that sex between me and Mr L has become more intimate and intense as we encourage and share each other’s fantasies through Swinging. We are confident enough that jealousy is not an issue. I would also swear that Swinging makes cheating less likely. Think about it – I would be insane to risk my relationship by sleeping with someone behind Mr L’s back, when I could do so with his consent ;)
Don’t – Don’t be jealous – you’re in this together.
The Morality of Swinging
I have never been the religious type, however we have met many religious people in the Swinging Lifestyle. On the basis of morality most people in the lifestyle share my opinion that what goes on in my home, or in Swinging clubs and parties is private and no concern of society as a whole as long as the law is not broken and no one gets hurt (well, a little bit of pain never hurt anyone did it?).
Many believe that as long at the relationship between them and their partner is sacred swinging with others does not infringe on martial values. It is important that the couple defines their boundaries and that these should be clear for both you and others.
Finally, another common response to moral and philosophical objections is that there is a difference between sex and love. Ironically enough,this is one of the objections that people on the opposite side of the moral divide have, that a distinction between sex and love should not exist.
Do – Have your rules and boundaries out there in the open & make sure they are clear to all.
The Naked Truth
Be open and frank with your partner about your feelings. It is natural that Swinging brings out new emotions and suppressing them will only cause them to emerge at a later date – usually with more awkward consequences.
Do: Be totally open and honest
Once you get to the Swinger’s Club or party be relaxed and yourself – You’ll get much more out of it that way. Being friendly, good-natured and exuding a warm aura has a positive effect on everyone. Leaving your inhibitions at home, both physical and social is a must as it can interfere with your swinging pleasure.
You can’t expect to get much out of a swingers’ party if you aren’t prepared to put much in. Stay close to your partner but not in a clingy way as it may ward off others from approaching either of you. Know your needs, interests and desires and let everyone know about them. Practice safe sex and don’t go beyond limits, even if you intend to try new things.
Do: Relax and be yourself, don’t freak out.
Ready to Swap Partners?
So,you fancy a couple and want to try your luck with them (my favorite part of the game). Invite them over and leave the decision making to everyone else. Swinging is only ok if everyone else is ok with it. If someone declines, don’t press or ask for reasons. Don’t get slaughtered on alcohol to try ease the way either.
Don’t: Be Pushy
Don’t take someone who has no intention of participating along just to get in the party (or even worse – a hooker).
Don’t: Cheat about your status – Couples only means couples only full stop